Channelers, psychics, and visas

 

Illustration of an article in The Moving Picture World, Date July 1916

Never underestimate the importance of a channeler.

We have discovered that trying to get work visas for New Zealand is no small feat. It is something of a chicken and egg dilemma. Get the job or get the visa first? The job first is preferable (check!) but even then, the visa is no sure deal–unless you are a Thai chef. No kidding. Thai chefs are a high priority occupation in New Zealand.

So with Dan’s job in hand (or on paper), we’ve started the visa process. It is similar to the Bar application…plus a medical evaluation… plus an FBI background check. That is where the channeler comes in handy.

According to Wikipedia, a channeler is a type of medium or person who “purportedly mediates communication between spirits of the dead and living human beings.” In contrast to a psychic, who speaks to spirits, a channeler “goes into a trance, or ‘leaves their body,’ allowing a spiritual entity to borrow their body, who then talks through them.”

We applied for our FBI background checks, including sending in two big white cards with lots of versions of our fingerprints. We really didn’t think we needed a spirit-talker. Wrong. After five weeks of waiting, we checked the FBI site. Waiting time: 13 to 15 weeks. Eeek! Or you can hire an FBI approved channeler. Waiting time: 5-7 days.

So off we go for round 2 of the FBI fingerprinting. This time we’ll let someone more adept at speaking to FBI spirits take charge.

Even though I breezed through the medical exam part in telling this saga, a psychic might have helped on that one too. A full med exam to show you are healthy enough to work in New Zealand is required. But the “approved doctors” are slim pickings. Any in Tennessee? Naw, that would be too easy. I did mine in Dallas, Texas (before a deposition for work). Dan went to the Cincinnati, Ohio area.

Quite the adventure….and we haven’t even left the US yet.

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